If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
