Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
