I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
