we're blogging at a bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
