I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
