ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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