NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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