good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
