What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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