is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
