I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
