I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
