You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
