I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize