So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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