Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
