That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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