i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
