Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
