You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
