I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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