he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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