the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
