i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
