Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
