he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
