he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
