You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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