Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
