At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
