the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
love makes seman taste better
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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