wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
