road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't deserve a penis
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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