nut hugger
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
