he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
