I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
