brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
