oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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