We're facebook friends in real life
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
