We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
