Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
