i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
