she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
