can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
