normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
