Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You've changed since you got that strap on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
