i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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