Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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