Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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