in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
