i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
