I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
